Start Again

With the new year, brings new perspective on life. Take a break from my book, and instead take a peak into my words and soul... 

Her head was a whirlwind of emotions. She couldn't think straight even though she was completely sober. She could hear her favorite song rippling in the background of her thoughts. She was smiling and felt like she could fly. So much anxiety had crept into her life this past year. So many responsibilities. So much loss, but oh, oh so much love had snuck in. She was a whirlwind of emotions as she looked out the window of her tiny apartment, the remnants of a vanilla latte still lingering on her tongue. It was more than an adrenaline rush that swept through her. Years of regrets swept through her brain as she closed her eyes and tried to leap free. She looked out that window and felt like a little kid again - just for those remaining two minutes and forty three seconds of guitar and lyrics. In that moment, she felt like the little girl she once was with unkept ringlets and dangling barrettes in her hair, dirt stains on her knees, and the smell of grass all on her clothes from being outside all day. Such magical years of life with no responsibilities or worries in the world. Such a sweet and pure life. She felt like that little girl on a swing for that brief moment and continued to absorb the lyrics buzzing in her head, "Come to me my sweetest friend, can you feel my heart again.." Songs have the power to transform the girl you're looking at. She's swayed by many things in this exhilarating world, and songs transform her. They fuel her soul.

She sat there and closed her eyes with a huge grin plastered across her flushed face. Her worries crept away for that moment, and she remembered the good in the world. She remembered the optimism and adventurous spirit God gave her in this chaotic world. She looked out that cracked window and continued to have optimism, hope, and love not for tomorrow. Oh no, optimism for today. We're all spoken to in different ways. For some, it's through music, others its writing or art. For the girl you're looking at staring out that window, it's music that speaks to her soul and fuels her brain to write stories of truth and speak words of compassion to others. 

She let her worries drift away - the same way the song faded from her laptop next to her, "We'll go home and start again... start again..." The words 'start again' hung in the air even after the music ended and the usual street noise crept back into the apartment. Her life wasn't starting over, no, the word 'again' lingered in her thoughts. She could be that six year old girl with ringlets and barrettes again on the swings. She could start again everyday with a carefree, loving, and optimistic spirit. And she would.